2 minute read
Portsmouth
“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”
-Eckhart Tolle, a German-born spiritual teacher and self-help author. His books include The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose and the picture book Guardians of Being.
From time to time, we’ve all told ourselves: “I really want to be free to move forward with my life. So, I am committed to take this action when (fill in the blank) … the kids are out of high school and we’re empty nesters….when the business is worth $75 million … …when my daughter is ready to lead the business …when I turn 50… when the dog dies…whatever.”
Why do we push away the things we are longing to do, create, or experience until some so-called “perfect” time arrives? Because it seems to me, this “perfect” time, never seems to arrive, leaving us with the regret of coulda, shoulda, woulda while the arrow of time only goes in one direction. Tick, tick, tick.
Paraphrasing William James, all positive emotion results from progress towards a goal. Some goals we purposefully set; others can be less conscious or intentional. And when we’ve achieved the goals, we’ve set forth for ourselves it’s brilliant, right? We did it—wooohoooo!
Yep, woohoo, whoa look out. Achieving our goals can morph into a curse. What? Yep. Frequently, without new learnings, new growth, or new challenges, we can stagnate. The life complexity accumulated from our past achievements can become oppressive.
I know there are times I’ve fallen victim to the “waiting to start living” thinking. In some odd way it was easier to romanticize about things I wanted to do in my life rather than taking action. I never questioned the logic behind putting off certain things to surrender to some unknown future. People around me put off living life all the time, so it wasn’t abnormal for me to (temporarily) do the same. It gave me something to look forward to, something to talk about when people asked me about future plans or about new ventures I wanted to start. It felt like my previous achievements were akin to gravity, holding me stuck to the ground. I was stuck with no new goals, frozen, waiting for something good to happen.
“Waiting to start living” syndrome plagues a lot of us unknowingly. We think we have time — all the time in the world—to sit around waiting for an idealized future that will never arrive. And hey, we are all terminal. Summer comes to an end, Seinfeld quits, the sun sets every day. Acknowledging that one day we will depart our earthly home can give us some much-needed perspective. If life is certain to end one mysterious day, then why do we possess the audacity to waste even a single minute?
So, what’s the antidote for waiting? A future based EOM is a creator, creating the next chapter of our lives, with intentional risk taking, focused purpose, decisive allocation of attention, effort, and energy. The greatest growth that I am going to have in my life lives in the future. The future will be greater performance, a different form of achievement, peak experiences, new relationships, exciting new learnings.
“I’ll wait to do this until…” should be erased from our vocabulary. Relinquishing the phrase all together is freeing because it gives you the power to decide to live your life now — not tomorrow or next year but now. The antidote to “waiting to start living” is taking action on the future. Now we can experience our Freedom.
What I am Reading / Listening to
Naval: Conquering the Mind Podcast (2024)
By Naval Ravikant
Naval conquering the mind is a podcast where entrepreneurial luminary Naval Ravikant engages in profound and expansive dialogues. This thought-provoking series spans the realms of personal development, happiness, wealth creation, and philosophical musings, delivering a harmonious blend of wisdom and actionable insights. Embark on a journey of enlightenment, as each episode unfolds a tapestry of profound perspectives, making it an invaluable resource for those yearning for inspiration and practical guidance across the diverse spectrum of life's pursuits.
Sometimes I tease my friends:
“If you want to know what I think about a n y t h i n g , just listen to Naval. It’s like he’s reading my mind."
Entrepreneur Owner-Manager Quote
Physics | Reciprocity
"Reciprocity underlies everything from basic human kindness to the most complex trade systems. At its core, reciprocity is the simple idea of treating others as they treat us—giving what we get. From this simple principle grows a vast web of social interactions and expectations that shapes nearly every aspect of our lives.
Many people seem to expect the world to hand them things without effort. This is a poor strategy because it doesn’t align with the human behavior you can observe around you every day. Reciprocation teaches us that if you give people cynicism and curtness or nothing at all, you are likely to receive the same. But if you give people an opportunity and the benefit of the doubt, you will often be on the receiving end of the same behavior.
Become what you want to see in the world, and the world will return it to you. If you want an amazing relationship with your partner, be an amazing partner. If you want people to be thoughtful and kind to you, be thoughtful and kind to them. If you want people to listen to you, listen to them. The best way to achieve success is to deserve success. Small changes in your actions change your entire world.
One of the biggest misperceptions about reciprocity is that people should sit around waiting for others to go first rather than unlocking the power of reciprocity in their favor by going positive and going first without expectation.
Reciprocity reminds us that our actions tend to come back on us. It’s an important reminder that we are part of the world, and thus our actions do not happen in isolation but are instead part of an interconnected web of effects.”
—Shane Parrish, from The Great Mental Models, Volume 2: Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (The Great Mental Models Series) (2024). Shane Parrish is an entrepreneur, investor, and the wisdom seeker behind the popular website Farnam Street where he writes about hidden insights that you can use in life and business.
Source: The *Updated* Great Mental Models v2: Physic
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